Jason: ok ok ok hello…hello??
ron: just so you know jason, your camel kicked me in the head and rifled through my pockets taking everything i had left. i barely raised my head to hear him laughing his hump off as i watched him galloping in your direction singing "happy days are here again". just as i got myself to my feet that unicorn jabbed me in the back; ran over me hollering 'don't mess with my camel honey'!!
oh, and they took the carrot. now i got nothing, except memories about those two cherries and a face full of dirt...
duuuuuuuuude, what's up with your camel man? he's outta control and so is his little hussy.
ron...ron is that you? wait what??! where the hell are you? my camel did what? no no, my camel would never…a unicorn??? wait, where the hell are…
well that camel will do almost anything if you just sling some turkish gummy black in its direction. have to be careful to include its little hussy unicorn or she will light up your backside quite rightly and unforgiving. she is partial to red opium and starts to chant "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan..."
i don’t have one iota of an idea of what you are talking about. did you catch up to my favorite neighbors? you were suppose to be…
ooooh, well, i’m out on that part. but it’s been a hell of a trip. best beware what amount you allot to this revenge idea. you could just give your motley duo the neighbors address. tell them it's an OP den with free goods for sample. just sit back and listen to the consequence of a jerked addict camel with a fire breathing drooling hussy as an escape dream trigger loaded with a full magazine and fresh blood dripping from her horn tip when your neighbor offers up a distorted face puzzle of an expression seeing that thru a busted down door and soiled linen. anyway good luck with that. i was out as soon as i found out they were sitting on a cache of missile launchers.
look, you are in dire need of sleep i’m venturing; just enough to get all that shit out of your system. did you go see the doctor about your …
oh, it was nothing. i was given the wrong diagnosis, besides trees are asking questions. gotta go. do me a favor and make sure you water the plant. see ya...
8th day
Jason: hello yeah yeah…say man, where the hell have you been? you need to start leaving your phone on so…
ron: that's so sweet... ok i been gone since feb 4th or 8th or shit who cares. let me tell you jason your camel took me for a hell of a ride there captain. and his little hussy if you remember this at all. well she turned out to be, well hmmm she, ok not so bad through all the stitches and bruises. shes a very loving unicorn if there is such oh by the way, you been keeping an eye on that delicate plant have you, that most precious flower? making sure her thirst was well quenched?
ron hey ron
bravo my good man. you know your camel informed me of many a tall tale throughout our travels and trippings amongst the sheets and galleries between the blowing winds up high in the trees. i tell you out on the dotted line alligator alley at 3 in the morning with empty bellied gators croaking on either side was more than your well versed camel friend had bargained for and he left me to fend off that 4-way orange barrel sunshine state by my lonesome. anyway, it’s all too much for me…i just wanted to…
look look …let me say something… we haven’t heard…i mean where have you…
oh shit, was i suppose to tip that camel...? anyway i was driving like 65-70 and had blur machines whizzing by my face but i was as happy as a, as a... well i was sticking to 65 mainly because of the warrant and i didn't want to end up in any ole jail in the deep south with that great big huge battle flag outside the cell and i don't know why after all the resistance well why they don't just fly the 'Bonnie Blue’ and save a lot of feelings hurt, but i am sticking to 65mph (and loving the palms you see) because as i mentioned the warrant you know.
could you slow down for a second and answer me…
ooooh shit man…guess who just woke up and is none too happy that your camel isn’t around!! i gotta tell ya i forgot all about her! sorry man, but i’ve got to pull over and get a different car. this one has a bloodthirsty hussy unicorn in it i’ve got to leave way behind…
Jason: wait, what?!!
ron: i’ll call i’ll call don’t worry i’ll
