Feb 2008
Alas! We meet again. Yes, I know you told Bosco
and his whole elk that you were rid of me once and for all.
Well, guess who I happened by on my way to be saved from
those god awful savages from the lowlands, huh? None other
than the big guy himself. At first I didn't realize who I
was conversing with what with his elaborate disguise and all.
After awhile though, right before the Chianti kicked my little
head to the Canary Islands and back did it hit me who I had
been so delightfully talking with. Oh, he tried to assure me
how mistaken I was, but when I yanked half his beard out just
to prove that I did indeed have all my faculties about me,
and that he must have used an extremely strong adhesive to
bond that hair so well to his chin, that I convinced him he
was who I said he was before he screamed something about me
to take more medication and ran faster then my eyes could keep
up with him then jumped on his bird then flew away, bee geezes.
The only reason I mentioned this to you now, is he reminded me
about taking medication that brought my thoughts to you.
Remember how you said never to take any medication after 8 o'clock
at night because the consequences would be more seriously harmful
than a pack of rabid weasels singing some Celine Dion song while
chewing my flesh at the high school senior prom that I didn't even
go to because I had to work in the hospital kitchen at the front
line in Timbuktu? Remember that lizard lover? Well, the monkey that
I rescued last go round shocked it all back to me with a resounding
'HELLO I FEEL LIKE A NAIL' up side of my tender little head late
this afternoon. All because I took some meds after 8 at night.
Now I've got this tree branch sticking out from the side of my
head just behind my ear. Woke up with it that way this early morning.
I didn't even notice it until after lunch some multi-colored bird
with this bearded guy riding it landed on my branch and started
squawking in my ear 'bout thousands of 3 legged spiders on the rampage
on the hunt for equal rights for gimpy spiders. Talk about not being
able to hold your psychosis!
Anyway, the big guy sez to download AIM, use like you normally
would, then the night before you leave, send a communiqué and further
instructions will be forwarded when all security checks out and the
President sez it's okay.
Time's up, got to get to the next island before all planes land.
Sorry to rush off, but I got my orders, you know. So, I miss
WHISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH, damn watch out WHISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSh,
stop sending those lizards dive bombing my way, Lizard Lover, you much.
Love your way!
Fifth in Command,
Basil Fassad
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